


The last straw.

by alcoholinspired



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 01:36:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10687077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alcoholinspired/pseuds/alcoholinspired
Summary: A different reaction from Justice in a retelling of the last quest.





	The last straw.

It happened. For the first moment in years, silence. No voices, no arguings, just the silence burying deep into the soul in sheer shock. For moments, the sky was held by blindly shining blood red pillars that pierced the clouds like spears, an affront to the Maker, with an unholy ring of what once was the Chantry and it’s residents dancing gruesomely around it. Silently, like the deads, until the ring contracted itself to the pillar, finaly exploding, followed by a violent shockwave, burning everything in it’s way.

“It can’t be stopped now. You have to choose.”

“I’m with the templars.”

“Why?” Anders whispered for me. In another time he would have tried to talk me out of it, but he knew better. Even now he held a hope I would go for it. When he appeared from our backs, dressed like a harbinger of death, I knew it would end. The fade glowing around him in it’s blue color, left a black trail. He stood like a warrior declaring war, but whenever the fade flickered there was doubt, there was remorse, or so I like to think.

He seems to regret turning eyes to me because never I hid feelings and would not hide the growing anger boiling faster than a spell to cast. What more does he want from me? He asked for my help and I gave it to him, jumped desperate and hungry into my arms and I gave myself for him, worried and I gave an escape route. Had he just forgotten everything? Or it never meant anything at all?

There was more argument, my stomach only grew sicker with it. I was pushed for a decision, Meredith’s words carved with fire in my mind:

“Have you not seen with your own eyes what they can do, heard the lies of mages that seek power?”

I’ve seen Thrask, who went against his life doctrines to keep his daughter out of the Circle, who trusted and was stabbed in the back.

I’ve seen the moments shared with Anders.

I’ve seen my mother.

Looked at my friends, the family that held me when mine was left without a burial. How could I look into their faces now that their warnings came to truth? How could I still be with a person that proved they were right? Someone I’ve never met? So I made my choice.

“I’m with the templars.”

Orsino tried to make up my mind, but everything I built in years, everything I lost for it was gone. The one who slept by my side had just made a fool of me. It was shattered. He ran away with some mages for the Gallows, some others were left to fight.

“Let’s deal with those mages!” Meredith’s cries, raising her immense sword while calling a powerful cleansing. This ended the pitiful group spell casting.

“Andraste guide me” Sebastian shoots precisely between the eyes of a mage.

The mages tried to fight back, but it was evident how without their magic they wouldn’t pose a real threath.

Fenris jumped a bit sooner than Meredith into the group, he practically flew among them. In each wave of their swords blood gushed out.

“Stand with me Hawke!” Aveline shouts for me and we circle the group, far enough from Fenris and Meredith, close enough to prevent any escape and face them.

“Shit.” Isabela, displeased made her deadly dance, finishing whoever was still standing, Varric was too shocked to shout now, but Bianca didn’t falter, Merrill was affected by Meredith’s cleansing, she was obviously sad.

Anders didn’t enter the fight, part of Meredith’s cleanse had hit him, but he held his ground, or Justice had. I could feel their eyes going from me to each blow that group got.

“I’ll leave this… murderer for you to deal with. He’s your companion. Do as you see fit.”

Now that she left there was no reason to still contain my anger, to hold my tongue.

“How… how can you side with her? After everything?”

“I could ask you the same.”

“You’re a murderer, Elthina is dead because of you, the whole Chantry. You will pay.” Sebastian stood side by side me.

“This is why mages can never be free, it takes only one to slaughter an entire city, how much of them it will take for another Imperium?” Fenris, fear, more than despise and anger, fear that he was witnessing the rise of another evil.

“You know this is not true Hawke, please don’t do this.” Merrill, still heartbroken.

“You never trusted Meredith, you know what a moster she is! Had you not seen all those tranquils? All those frightened mages? Their families? Heard all the horrible things the templars did? ”

“I did. And also saw blood mages and abominations running amok in this city. Not a single week passed without a crazed mage killing, manipulating and lying to someone!” I highlighted lying.

“Not a single day passed without mages being abused, without an injustice happening. Not a single day without a mage being beaten, raped or worse. You know this will continue if no one did something, the…”

“Stop talking about justice, you don’t know what it is, but I swear you will meet it.” Sebastian, already assuming his attack stance, he will not act without my word, I know, but he was barely keeping himself from the pure ire in his eyes.

While Anders looked at me with the most devastated expression I’ve seen him with, to Sebastian he was quick to let the fade cracks in his skin glow. He hated Sebastian for everything he stood and was. He breathed heavily and went back to me.

“There’s nothing you can say that I haven’t already said to myself. This is the Justice all mages have awaited.”

“Maybe you could have trusted me. I could have understood.”

“What? How can you condone with this? She was a faithful woman and she trusted you!”

When he said that I saw the “funeral” ceremony we did at the Chantry. The many times I’ve talked to him or her. There were many times I relied on my friends, on Sebastian or heard Elthina’s words. Many times Anders held me against his chest. But they weren’t the one who used, who lied, who blackmailed me. They were right about mages, about “Justice”, about Anders. Maker I feel so stupid.

“I wanted to. But what if you stopped me? Or worse, what if you wanted to help? I couldn’t let you do that. The world will see the Circle is not a solution. I’m ready to pay for that… with my life. Perhaps Justice will be free.” The sorrow in his eyes dwindled from the start of his response until there was only full resolution. Any light left in them went out.

“You know what must be done”

“Bold plan. Well, I thought so.”

“He wants to die. Kill him and be done with it.”

“Belief is no excuse. Sincerity does not justify…this.”

“He should come with us. Do what he can to put things right.”

“I think I’m sick of mages and templars.”

“Whatever you do just do it.”

I don’t answer, I can’t. Just take the knife out of the sheath and walk to him. He is in front of me, standing with the black feathers rocking with the wind, looks at me or through me, can’t be sure. Some more steps and I see he looks at some point a bit bellow of my eyes. I stop at arms reach, looking right to where his heart is. The same place I’ve spent just so many nights. There’s a stray feather in his coat, so I stretch an arm to fix it, he quivers at the imminent touch, there’s the instinct to step back, but I touch him before he moves. Now I can hear his breath that was so resolute coming in heavy and sound waves. I see the meant in his arm to touch me, like he did so many times, but he doesn’t. I accepted what I had to do and wanted to look to his eyes.

I finally got his eyes, in another time I would have said I saw water coming from a dam crack, but not now, I never met him to know. But he did, enought to know that right or wrong, I would not step back. The knife is already rightly positioned in my hand, but then he changed. With the free hand he touches my belly, brushing a bit with his fingers, keeping me from advancing. There was still some tenderness in it. But the air around got heavier, as if it was being wrapped, electrifying; it was Justice. If Anders was decided to pay, Justice wasn’t, or at least not without a fight.

Before he couldn’t hold Justice any longer, he shoved me. I lose my balance and stumbled back, Sebastian holds me by the waist, keeping me from falling, but then Justice comes with the powerful wave of a fade burst and we both are shoved and fall. Justice is there, powerfully cloaked by the fade itself. The burst I and Sebastian took stunned us and we are helpless in the floor while Justice takes control.

“NO. I WILL NOT LET YOU KILL HIM!”

“Hawke!” It’s both Aveline and Fenris, readily jumping to cover us. Impossibly to track, Fenris reaches Justice, lighting all the marks on his body, he lashes with a blindly blast of spiritual force.

“You won’t die with me here Hawke. GET UP!” Aveline screamed while I and Sebastian raised. She stands in front of us, covering our moves.

“WE MADE JUSTICE FOR EVERY MAGE, WHILE YOU HAVE GIVEN INTO SLOTH AND CONDONE WITH THEIR ABUSERS.”

“This is not justice, this is murderer, this is vengeance! You turned into everything that makes them right.”

“I’ll take position. This abomination will die.” As soon as he is up, Sebastian runs to take position to Justice’s back.

My reply and Sebastian’s words only fuel the spirit, Fenris leaps into the air and crashes down Justice with a shattering blow. Justice manages to evade stepping into the fade and back. With a powerful and very fast movement it use’s the staff like a sword and hits him violently, Fenris step back and before he could move again a glyph of paralysis was cast, locking him were he was.

“WE CAME TO THIS CITY TO START A REVOLUTION, TO MAKE THE WORLD SEE THE INJUSTICES COMMITTED AT THE CIRCLE, TO TAKE THE MAGES OUT OF THEIR CELLS AND MAKE THEY FIGHT FOR THEIR RIGHTS. WE ACOMPLISHED OUR MISSION AND THEY WILL BE FREE.”

“They will be free? How can you know? You just murdered innocents, can’t you hear the despair and chaos you’ve thrown this city into? And what about their justice?”

“You won’t get away with that! ” Aveline shouted, like the battering ram she was she ran to Justice with all the might and strength and bashed Anders with Wesley’s shield. If spirits could be punched to death, she would be the one to discover.

“Just hold on! Isabela’s coming!” Isabela shouted. The bash made Justice stagger, in which she took advantage disappearing in a smoke bomb she threw, only to reaper at Ander’s back striking him viciously.

Justice waved the staff, hitting her before she could leave. Isabela was forced back, but it didn’t continued hitting on her, instead it turned back to Aveline and her shield, the templar shield. This flared all the spirit’s anger and it charged full force at her. He hits her powerfully with the staff, and she took it, immediately counter attacking. He was going to cast a shock wave directly from the fade, going to do the same he did to templars, but I rush at him and wave my staff hitting him with the bladed end with all my strength.

“YOU CANNOT STOP THIS, EVEN IF WE DIE EVERY MAGE WILL BORN A FREE PERSON. YOU WATCHED AS THEY SUFFERED, YOU SIDE WITH THEIR ABUSERS AFTER YEARS BY OUR SIDE, YOU BETRAYED OUR CAUSE. YOU BETRAYED ANDERS.”

“Betrayed?! He fucking lied to me, used me for years and blackmailed me into this bloodshed! I told the truth he didn’t wanted to hear, that it was a shitty idea to take a spirit into himself. Or better: a fucking demon!” I probably shouldn’t have said that, for it only made Justice angrier, but blast it I was too bitter to reason, and he wouldn’t reason after all.

“Leave it to Bianca!” Varric shout. A volley of arrows follow aiming Anders, but much for Varric’s dismay, they are burned, or rather, vaporized before reaching him.

“To the void! Bianca ain’t doing much here!”

“Blast it! Let’s try something else!” Sebastian tried to flank Anders, but the same happened.

“WE PROTECTED YOU, WE DID EVERYTHING TO KEEP YOU OUT OF THIS, YOU SHOULD NOT BE HERE. WE ARE READY TO GIVE OUR LIVES FOR THE MAGES FREEDOM. WE ARE READY TO FIGHT FOR IT. FROM EVERYONE ELSE YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS IS A RIGHTEOUS CAUSE.”

I was stunned by the reply, but before I could say anything Merrill intervened:

“Elgar'nan, guide me!” Merrill covers her body in a stone armor, cuts her skin and the blood starts flowing; a red pool forms beneath Justice’s. It instantly grabs the spirit attention and wrath. It turns to her, but before it could move a gesture of her arms and a bloody red fog raises, draining Anders blood, confusing the spirit. Fire starts damaging him too and she casts spirit’s strikes uninterruptedly. I step back.

Justice breaks the compulsion, and takes distance. This can’t be good.

“Don’t let him get far!” Fenris reads my mind, but it was too late. Justice summons a huge column of swirling flame.

“Oh, this isn’t going well! Get me out of this!” We ran from the center as fast as we could, but Isabela fell, I ran back to catch her, Aveline helped me and we made it out of the fire’s reach.

“I’m hurt! I need assistance!” Sebastian was badly wounded by the fire, his hair already a mess.

“Take it! Give it to Isabela!” I say giving him my bag where there should be my last potions. I was unprepared for all this fight and had brought only what already was in my pack, which would certainly not be enough.

“Thanks the Maker! Thanks Hawke!” He seems too happy, but there was no time to know why.

“Cover!” Justice is casting again. Aveline shouts and I go to her side, together we make a protective wall for the others, we brace ourselves for the incoming impact.

“By the creators! Hawke” Merrill casts an arcane wall to further protect us.

Then it comes. A massive shock wave wiping everything that wasn’t destroyed enough already. The bodies that fallen moments before are now little more than an unrecognizable mess. I’m glad to have trained protective abilities, because even with the three of us working on it I’m praying it will stand.

The others stood closely together behind us, bracing themselves. I and Aveline channel our strengths into keeping the barrier. Sudenly it stops and I see why. The cracks in Anders skin are shimmering, he is fighting with Justice, maybe he does not want to kill us.

“Fenris, stay here!” I said before he could run to attack Anders again. I feared his lyrium would give Justice another boost. He understood, but looked very displeased with it.

“I got an idea, cover me.” Merrill, without knowing what it was Varric and Isabela took her sides, Fenris stood were he was, Sebastian, farther from the group was already reading his bow. Aveline and I kept our guard positions.

She cuts herself again and a new pool of blood forms down Anders, this one more powerful. Without being under Justice control, especially while fighting it, he was more vulnerable to blood magic. He shouted in agony, Justice evidently pushing to gain control. I seize the opportunity and charge at him. Barely heard the sound Sebastian’s arrow made in its fly, but blessed his aim it did not hit me. I ran at him with the bladed end of my staff already positioned, he turns his head at me, but I don’t stop.

Then he fell, not by a knife, but by a staff. I embraced him in my arms, keeping from reaching the floor, he lets his staff fall and with the free hand grabs my waist, the other firmly holds my shoulder, trying to balance himself, Sebastian’s arrow perforated his arm, I’m sure he aimed for the heart, but changed when saw me ran. His legs are getting weaker and his weight on my arms heavier.

“Love…” He muttered, closing his hands even more, he hides his face at the crook of my neck. He kisses weakly my skin, I can feel his teeth when he gasps for air. He’s weeping.

He loses his balance, relying entirely on my arms. I get down, his head leans against my arm, blond hair snagged at my armor, some being effectively ripped out, he didn’t care, the hand on my shoulder made its way to cup my face, but he didn’t had the strength to keep it there, so I catch it before it falls. He seems glad I did it.

“You’re the light of my life. I loved you before you even noticed me.” He stops, a smile appears. “Even with your horrible puns.”

I can’t help but give a little bitter laugh. He seems happy to take a smile out of me.

“I worried so much over you during those years, but I had to do it, I feel for the innocents, but can’t be sorry about the Chantry.”

I bend and give him a soft kiss on his forehead, inspiring the scent of his hair, he raises his head a little, rubbing his nose on my chin. The hand on my face pressures itself slightly.

“I thought you would be with Varric, playing cards like always. I’ve never meant to drag you to this. I just wanted to be a little longer with you…” He stops. He breaks.

What could I say? My mind is a mess, my heart is worse. I touch his forehead with mine, looking to the amber eyes, he’s looking back, like he looked while we were together. There’s the same bit of hope there was before, but it is fleeting.

“Sleep now my love.” It’s the only thing I could say, it came from somewhere else than my mind, because that was not working.

I rub my nose with his, there’s a little smile, my mouth found his and I gave him the last kiss, slow, almost chaste, as long as it could be, like the first night he came to me.

He’s gone. I kept looking at him. I knew what happened, but did not realize yet. I laid him carefully on the floor, going back to my friends. All in silence again.

“Hawke, take it you’ll need this before we can move on.” Sebastian says with a low voice, unexpectedly comprehensible.

I look to what he’s handling to me. It’s my pack, he wants me to take some potions before going for the Gallows, I’m tired to say no so I open it. There were far more potions and poultices than the last time I packed up.

**Author's Note:**

> From an inspiration received on my blog.  
> https://alcoholinspired.tumblr.com/


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